Lesson Learned, Wrong Lover – Part 2

After visiting the doctor and requesting, he performs a test to measure the alcohol level of my 6-month-old daughter. I returned home a few days later with the lost soul simply because I did not want to face family or friends with this nightmare, yet. I needed some time to think. After thinking, I decided to drop my daughter off to her daycare provider (his cousin) and go to work. When I returned to the daycare that afternoon, I found that her dad picked her up and he was non-reachable by phone or text. I immediately started to panic because the first thought I had was “he’s somewhere with my baby feeding her E&J and Coke”.

Five long and MISERABLE days went by without me hearing from him or my baby, to be honest, all I could do is stay occupied when I was not at work and fight through the tears while at work. It’s crazy because now that I think back about it, I was great with misleading folks to think I had my life all together and I was “good”. When in reality I was dying inside.

During those five days I called police departments, met with police officers and was constantly informed by them that if there were no court order saying that I had custody they could not help me. In the back of my mind, I felt they looked at me as if I was another baby momma that was crying wolf now and would be back with him next week. But, I wasn’t. I truly wanted out of that nightmare of a relationship.

On the fifth day of worrying about my baby’s well-being and receiving absolutely no help from authorities I made another call to his phone and, he answered. I begged and pleaded for that person to, at the very least; let me see my baby and he agreed to meet with me on a corner that evenly sat between his cousin’s house and my aunt’s house. Before meeting with him I knew I had to think of something to get my baby out of this guy’s harm.

When I arrived to the corner to meet him and my baby, I remember her being so happy to see me she jumped in my arms. The only thing I could think to do is RUN. I ran all the way to my aunt’s house with my baby tight in my arms. He caught up to me and literally started to pull my baby out of my arms in a very rough way. In the meantime, it looked as if the police was called by the neighbors in the process and before I knew it they were pulling up. From then that turned into a shoving match between him and the officers, which forced him to be tased a few times to get him to cooperate with authorities.

I remember at that point thinking this is ridiculous and I do not want this in my life ever again. From that day forward, I never returned to that relationship. The result of that event was, he was arrested and WE were reported to DCFS by the officers that responded to that call. Because we were parents of a child and had a physical altercation with the child in our presence.

I had a very downgrading, tedious, educating and stressful two years of dealing with the Department of Child and Family Services after leaving that relationship. I learned that when you are in as abusive relationship, and you have children or bring a child into the environment you risk losing custody of your kids to DCFS because the law says this is a form of child endangerment and emotional abuse. So yes, you can lose custody of your kids even being a victim of physical abuse because you chose to stay, and all it takes is a call to the police for help to get it started. Yes, I came out victorious and overcame that nightmare but I had to FIGHT.  It was the most difficult situation I had ever gone through in my life. It takes a very strong person to handle the things that type of court puts you through and I would not want ANYONE to have to go through any of it. So because of that, this is my reasoning for posting on this topic.

I beg the reader that is experiencing physical abuse whether you have a child or not to remove yourself from that environment. Because NO ONE is worth your sanity or kids. Be strong, pray, leave, forgive and love on yourself immensely.

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